Respectable men

This morning I was reading Proverbs 31 about the virtuous woman. Today when I read it something caught my eye and challenged me to a new way of thinking. Always before I marveled at this genuinely good woman and made up my mind to imitate her. I read about her husband but I was always so busy pondering her goodness that I never gave him full thought. Today I stopped and thought in depth about what verse 23 says:

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Her husband is known in the gates,

When he sits among the elders of the land.

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How could I have missed that? I' have been asking Heavenly Father what exactly constitutes a good man. My heart is unreliable, deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked. I can make myself believe everything good about anything if I want it bad enough. What I imagined to be a "good" man continuously fell short of Heavenly Father's standard. I have been thinking and thinking about this for quite a few weeks and Heavenly Father was kind enough to show me the wisdom that I needed. My conclusion: A good man is respected. He has the respect of people who are leaders. They value his opinions, his way of dressing, his ethics, his treatment of his family, his standards, what he has to say, everything that he is. They respect him because he is respectable. He has high standards. He is kind. He does not think of his wife as a sex object or a trophy. He respects her. He loves her because she is good. He loves his children. He loves people. He has a job that is respectable and worthy of honor. He works everyday and works hard. He does not expect a woman to carry him. He takes full responsibility for his family. He respects his wife's feelings. He comes home and acknowledges the existence of his children . When he talks to his children and plays with them he is gentle with them and genuinely enjoys interacting with them. He is respectable! I have to face it my standards have been low. I have allowed myself to think highly of men who do not possess even half of these standards. I have smoothed things over in my mind. Fantasized, made myself believe that somehow time will make everything alright. Telling myself "this guy is not so bad he will change if I'm good", as if "good" is contagious and can be caught like an illness. What am I thinking? Heavenly Father's standards are high. They are not caught, happened upon , learned at the last minute. They are lived and most definitely lived more then, "three long weeks". What have I been thinking? This is a matter of happiness or endless disappointment. How could I have missed it seeing that I have read Proverbs 31 so many times? I have come to believe that it has been due to the condition of my heart. I have been deceiving myself and not believing that there could possibly be anyone left who is absolutely respectable. I've been wanting to settle because I have wanted a man right now instead of wanting to wait for Heavenly Father's timing and respectable man. Respectable, that is the standard! Respectable! And in case you are anything like me and need a detailed, exhaustive description of what respectable means here it is straight from Merriam-Webster:

** Respectable
1: worthy of respect : estimable
2: decent or correct in character or behavior : proper

** Respect
1: a relation or reference to a particular thing or situation respect to an earlier plan>
2: an act of giving particular attention : consideration
3 a: high or special regard : esteem b: the quality or state of being esteemed

** Estimable
1: capable of being estimated estimable amount>
2archaic : valuable
3: worthy of esteem

**Proper
1 a: referring to one individual only b: belonging to one : own c: appointed for the liturgy of a particular day d: represented heraldically in natural color
2: belonging characteristically to a species or individual : peculiar
3chiefly dialect : good-looking, handsome
4: very good : excellent
5chiefly British : utter, absolute
6: strictly limited to a specified thing, place, or idea proper>
7 a: strictly accurate : correct barchaic : virtuous, respectable c: strictly decorous : genteel
8: marked by suitability, rightness, or appropriateness : fit

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**My prayer

Thank you Jesus for leading me down the right path. Thank you for saving me from making the biggest mistake of my life. Help me to wait on the man who is worthy of your respect first of all and then mine and others. Help me to think about truth and purity and respectability instead of fantasizing about castles and knights and white horses. Help me Jesus and save me from myself. Thanks.

silly things...

Sometimes I do such silly things. Jesus is still here listening to me giving me good advice and still wanting me to do what he has planned for my life. It's a great plan it brings all sorts of peace of mind and happiness so I'm going along with it but sometimes I will admit I get a little side tracked. I get my mind on silliness and I get stuck and today I was telling Jesus how I need him to help me keep my mind on what's at hand. The things worth thinking about. I am like a goofy child remembering all the places where I jumped in the mud puddles. Thinking about other puddle jumpers, silliness! So today Jesus is going to help me keep my mind on what I need to be doing to get where he has planned for me to go. He's a "mind saver," I am thankful for him!

Overwhelmed!

Today I cried and cried with thankfulness and gratefulness to the Lord. I stood by the sliding glass door that looks out into the yard and I was overwhelmed with the goodness of Jesus and I broke into tears and cried. Last night I went to a church I have never been to before and three precious women laid hands on me and prayed for me and something happened to me. Something good--something very good! A huge weight dropped off of me. The thing that was hindering me for a long time is gone. I am overwhelmed. My heart is so full of gratefulness. I have been thinking all day about how wonderful Jesus is. How much adventure he has called me to. Choosing him as my best friend is the best decision I ever made. I am not tied down. I am free. Free to do what Heavenly Father has called me to do. Free to live. Free to breathe. Free to be who I am because of him. Unordinary! I am overwhelmed by the goodness of Jesus!

..more than all I ask or imagine!

Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work in us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever. Ephesians 3:20 "More than all I ask or imagine", I like that part. I like that part because I have a great imagination. I can imagine all kinds of good things. Today I went for a walk with the children and I thanked Jesus all the way there and back. I thanked him and Heavenly Father for being so gracious to me and listening to me and answering me and for giving me such a wonderful life. When I got home and put those peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and chips on the table for those hungry children, I sat down. I sat down and I imagined a room full of gentlemen sitting around a large conference table haggling over how much they were going to pay me for my work. And I imagined Jesus and Father encouraging them, whispering, "pay her a good wage," "offer her a good contract." You see it is grand to imagine and then I read in Ephesians that Jesus can do more then I can ask or imagine. Well in that case imagine what I just imagined and then imagine even better then that till you can't imagine anymore, and that won't even be the beginning of what Father and Jesus can do. Whew!!! We are blessed beyond measure to have such goodness on our side! I have asked I have imagined and now I am waiting. I am going to get a happy surprise! Watch and see!

To my best friend Jesus

Jesus I want to thank you for helping me today and always. Thank you for holding me together. Thank you for giving me hope against all hopelessness. I am so happy so very happy. You have blessed me beyond measure and I see another blessing coming a very big one and my heart is overwhelmed with your goodness. This year you saved my life when I was actually dying. You taught me to open my hands and give you things that were harmful to me. You replaced my broken treasures with rare jewels, people who love you with all their heart and soul. People who give me so much joy that I can't imagine life without them. Thank you! My heart sings every morning. You have given me a job that I absolutely love. I am so happy about my job, thank you! When I think about how you forgive me for all the stupid things I do; and never condemn me for any of them, I am in awe of you. You absolutely love me and I know it all the time, thank you! How you could leave that wonderful place called heaven and come down here and dwell among us in this darkness to save our dusty bodies I will never be able to understand. You are my hope. Thank you for holding me together. You give me joy. You love me no matter what. You gave up your life so that you could save mine. I am in awe of you. Thank you my precious Jesus, thank you!