Confessions of a worrying woman....

Today I wasted a lot of time worrying. Worrying and beating myself up about decisions I have made in the past. Worrying and fretting and anxiously trying to reason out situations in my mind as if I can fix any of them. I worked myself into an emotional state complete with tears and extreme grief of spirit. I told myself that I had a right to grieve over my situation. Poor Jesus he had to witness me in that state of complete distrust and forgetfulness. I acted as though Heavenly Father had left and Jesus was no longer listening. I feel foolish writing this. I will tell you something about Jesus. He does not condemn me when I act like this , he lovingly waits for me to calm down so that I can hear what he has to say to my heart. That is what happened today. I did not get an answer till close to this afternoon because I was worrying out loud and I couldn't hear him. The answer came so softly. On top of that I received an email from a true friend who told me to stop thinking useless thoughts and go on in the grace of Jesus. I can't believe I am sharing this with the world but here it is. Tonight I received a devotional from Internet cafe and what do you think the scripture was?

Philippians 4:6-9

-7Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.
8-9Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.
The Message (MSG)
Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson

Jesus comforted me on every side. He said encouraging things to my heart. He sent me messages of peace through my precious friend and through the Internet cafe. He did not forget me. He patiently listened even when I was tempted to believe he was not listening. He listened and he answered me despite my doubting. In all my anxiousness Jesus never condemns me. We are best friends forever I'm sure you can see why! My prayer: Jesus please help me think about good things, wonderful things, things that make me happy. Help me to think only good when I think of people. Jesus take this silly worry and give me peace of mind. Help me to believe that I can trust you with my life and everything in it, even the messes. Thank you Jesus. **C

Jesus I need help especially today.

Jesus why can't I just get it through my head that I really don't need most of the things I think about. I'm always wanting something. Most of the time it's something that in the long run would ruin me. I am agonizing about this today because I am so tired of myself. Please help me Jesus because I have messed up enough already. I would like to do things right from now on. I need you to help me:

1. Help me stop fantasizing about the ideal man. I'm sure you have him already picked out and waiting, you're most likely waiting on me.
2. Stop me before I take one step off the path.
3. Please help me to believe all the good things you believe about me.
4. I'm giving you this whole list of things that I can do nothing about today; or ever, please take the list and fix everything like you always do.
5. I am worried please help me remember that you fix everything.
6. I feel unforgiving please remind me of how you have forgiven me so that I will be merciful.
7. I feel like a failure please remind me that you have more than enough grace for me.
8. Jesus you are my best friend I don't want to hurt you; forgive me because I know I already hurt you today, it's over that sin that so easily besets me, please deliver me!
9. I do so want to do what's right, Jesus change my heart.
10. Sin makes me old, make me new again.
11. I want to live in your house one day, keep me faithful.
12. I love you Jesus, thank you for helping me.