Because of love.

Why were we created by the great I Am?  Because of love. Why did He send His son to rescue us from this mess we made? Because of love.

Dear Jesus...

Every word I need to hear you say it

everyday!

Every hope I need to treasure you give it

everyday!

Every sorrow that makes me cry you take it

everyday!

You make my journey easier

everyday!

The case against wickedness.....

I have been thinking about how evil it is to constantly find fault with someone and look for areas and ways where they don't measure up. I am very tired of this person who looks and looks and looks for things that I do that don't measure up to her impeccable standards. I call her wicked. In the quiet sanctity of my mind I have called her wicked and I have built a case on what wickedness is. I have built a strong case and come to the conclusion that wicked people are far away from God. I have noticed that the closer they imagine themselves to be to God the more wicked they are. Scary thought. I have given up on people who wrap themselves in religiosity. I am wary of them because they have done the most damage to my soul. This year I have vowed to surround myself with people who are wrapped in goodness. I look back and see how the wicked types have gotten angry and fallen away from me and I am better off for it. I believed that lie for too long that just because a person names themself by Christ's name that they are like him. This morning I read Psalm 7. I received comfort. God alone is my judge! He is the only one who can condemn me and He is angry with the wicked every day. I rest my case!

God judgeth the righteous and God is angry with the wicked every day. Psalm 7:11 KJV

Respectable men

This morning I was reading Proverbs 31 about the virtuous woman. Today when I read it something caught my eye and challenged me to a new way of thinking. Always before I marveled at this genuinely good woman and made up my mind to imitate her. I read about her husband but I was always so busy pondering her goodness that I never gave him full thought. Today I stopped and thought in depth about what verse 23 says:

***

Her husband is known in the gates,

When he sits among the elders of the land.

***

How could I have missed that? I' have been asking Heavenly Father what exactly constitutes a good man. My heart is unreliable, deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked. I can make myself believe everything good about anything if I want it bad enough. What I imagined to be a "good" man continuously fell short of Heavenly Father's standard. I have been thinking and thinking about this for quite a few weeks and Heavenly Father was kind enough to show me the wisdom that I needed. My conclusion: A good man is respected. He has the respect of people who are leaders. They value his opinions, his way of dressing, his ethics, his treatment of his family, his standards, what he has to say, everything that he is. They respect him because he is respectable. He has high standards. He is kind. He does not think of his wife as a sex object or a trophy. He respects her. He loves her because she is good. He loves his children. He loves people. He has a job that is respectable and worthy of honor. He works everyday and works hard. He does not expect a woman to carry him. He takes full responsibility for his family. He respects his wife's feelings. He comes home and acknowledges the existence of his children . When he talks to his children and plays with them he is gentle with them and genuinely enjoys interacting with them. He is respectable! I have to face it my standards have been low. I have allowed myself to think highly of men who do not possess even half of these standards. I have smoothed things over in my mind. Fantasized, made myself believe that somehow time will make everything alright. Telling myself "this guy is not so bad he will change if I'm good", as if "good" is contagious and can be caught like an illness. What am I thinking? Heavenly Father's standards are high. They are not caught, happened upon , learned at the last minute. They are lived and most definitely lived more then, "three long weeks". What have I been thinking? This is a matter of happiness or endless disappointment. How could I have missed it seeing that I have read Proverbs 31 so many times? I have come to believe that it has been due to the condition of my heart. I have been deceiving myself and not believing that there could possibly be anyone left who is absolutely respectable. I've been wanting to settle because I have wanted a man right now instead of wanting to wait for Heavenly Father's timing and respectable man. Respectable, that is the standard! Respectable! And in case you are anything like me and need a detailed, exhaustive description of what respectable means here it is straight from Merriam-Webster:

** Respectable
1: worthy of respect : estimable
2: decent or correct in character or behavior : proper

** Respect
1: a relation or reference to a particular thing or situation respect to an earlier plan>
2: an act of giving particular attention : consideration
3 a: high or special regard : esteem b: the quality or state of being esteemed

** Estimable
1: capable of being estimated estimable amount>
2archaic : valuable
3: worthy of esteem

**Proper
1 a: referring to one individual only b: belonging to one : own c: appointed for the liturgy of a particular day d: represented heraldically in natural color
2: belonging characteristically to a species or individual : peculiar
3chiefly dialect : good-looking, handsome
4: very good : excellent
5chiefly British : utter, absolute
6: strictly limited to a specified thing, place, or idea proper>
7 a: strictly accurate : correct barchaic : virtuous, respectable c: strictly decorous : genteel
8: marked by suitability, rightness, or appropriateness : fit

***

**My prayer

Thank you Jesus for leading me down the right path. Thank you for saving me from making the biggest mistake of my life. Help me to wait on the man who is worthy of your respect first of all and then mine and others. Help me to think about truth and purity and respectability instead of fantasizing about castles and knights and white horses. Help me Jesus and save me from myself. Thanks.

Sticking by...

Jesus sticks by. He sticks by through all the darkness and crying and ugliness. He sticks when everyone else runs. He never gets tired of hearing my stories over and over and over again. He never gets tired of the endless questions about the same situation. He never gets tired of me trying to make sense of the messes I have made. We work it out together. He shows me the truth about where I took the wrong step. He does it gently without condemning me. Case at hand, I am reading a book that explains how wonderfully we are made. In my reading of that book I am learning about myself and the choices I have made. I am choosing to make better choices because I see now what my problem is. Truth always frees me. Jesus is the one who encouraged me to read that book. This morning I am feeling free because I have put that heavy baggage down and left it. I can't carry all that stuff anymore. Expectations and "the way things are always done", left behind! Today I am thinking about how wonderful my best friend is. This issue over "do I need this guy or not because he expects me to....", is not causing me anxiety anymore because Jesus showed me the truth about it. He also showed me exactly what to do about it. This morning I woke up thinking about how Jesus is not selfish, he doesn't have a hidden agenda or a twisted reason. This morning I have peace. I couldn't ask for a better best friend.

silly things...

Sometimes I do such silly things. Jesus is still here listening to me giving me good advice and still wanting me to do what he has planned for my life. It's a great plan it brings all sorts of peace of mind and happiness so I'm going along with it but sometimes I will admit I get a little side tracked. I get my mind on silliness and I get stuck and today I was telling Jesus how I need him to help me keep my mind on what's at hand. The things worth thinking about. I am like a goofy child remembering all the places where I jumped in the mud puddles. Thinking about other puddle jumpers, silliness! So today Jesus is going to help me keep my mind on what I need to be doing to get where he has planned for me to go. He's a "mind saver," I am thankful for him!

Jesus open my eyes...

Early in the morning a servant of the Holy Man got up and went out. Surprise! Horses and chariots surrounding the city! The young man exclaimed, "Oh, master! What shall we do?"
He said, "Don't worry about it—there are more on our side than on their side."
Then Elisha prayed, "O God, open his eyes and let him see."
The eyes of the young man were opened and he saw. A wonder! The whole mountainside full of horses and chariots of fire surrounding Elisha! II Kings 6: 15-17

I have been acting like Elisha's servant. Today I read this and I am thinking about how my eyes have been gazing at the seemingly impossible instead of the One who makes it all possible. Today I asked Jesus to open my eyes. Today I am choosing to believe that the solution to my "great problem" has already been worked out. Why do I close my eyes when I have known all along that the God of heaven, Creator of all things, has not forgotten me? If I spent more time reading Bible stories like this my eyes would remain open and I would remember that Jesus is faithful!

Jesus my Creator

Friday I took the children to the wildlife ranch. We were overwhelmed by the beauty of the animals we saw. There were animals from Africa, India, and England. When we first drove in we immediately noticed a beautiful black swan with a red bill swimming serenely in the pond. On the banks were Emden Geese fussing about like geese do. We went around the bend and there were Gazelle and Red deer, Fallow deer, Blackbuck, Blesbok, Dama Gazelle, Greater Kudus, Impala, Nyala, Red Lechwe, Wildebeest, Sable, Scimitar Horned Oryx, Waterbuck, and Addax. At one point we met up with a cantankerous old Ostrich. She fluffed her feathers up and let us know she was not happy with our disturbing her. Not far down the road from "Cantankerous" we met up with a feisty Emu. Curious bird it was. It got in front of the van as if to block us. Then it raced ahead of the van when I sped up. I stopped and that funny bird came right to my window and looked me right in the eyes. What beautiful green gold eyes they have. I rolled up my window just in case. We had such fun. "Curious" finally let us pass after a time. The children were beside themselves with joy. I began to thank Jesus for creating such beautiful animals. I exclaimed, "Hallelujah!" "Thank you Jesus for giving us such beauty". At that moment I heard little Matthew who was sitting next to me in the front seat began to praise Jesus unashamedly. "Hallelujah!" he exclaimed, "thank you Jesus!" My heart was glad as I heard him enthusiastically continue praising the Lord for His goodness. Remember those Pharisees who confronted Jesus about the children singing praise? "And Jesus said to them, Yes; have you never read, Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings You have perfected praise?" Matthew 21:16 Lord Jesus thank you for these precious children you have given me to raise for you. You have filled them with your goodness and it shows. I praise you for creating such wonder for us. I am in awe of you. You are precious beyond measure. Thank you!

We are greatly loved!

Have you ever really thought about how greatly loved we are? Think about it. The Great Creator of all things sent the only son He had to this dark earth to save us. Who are we? Dusty little disrespectful children who think we know the best way to go. Who is He? A Father who greatly loves us. When I think about it I tremble and the tears come because it's an overwhelming thought to be loved so much. Thank you Heavenly Father, thank you Jesus. Help me to love.

Why?

I never ceased to be amazed by religious people. People who follow a set of rigid rules made by man to earn their spot in the heaven they have imagined and yet they have a hard time doing what Jesus asks. They seem to miss that part altogether. They can tell you about all the laws and traditions set up by the people at the church that they go to. They can even show you how they keep all those laws and traditions. Jesus sums up all the foolishness in one simple verse.

" If you [really] love Me, you will keep (obey) My commands."John 14:15

Why is that so hard? All week I have been subjected to the torture of people of traditions and man made rules trying to convince me that their way to heaven is the only way. I am desperately done with all of it. My heart aches because no-one wants to talk about Jesus. Why is that?